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ok this might sound stupid but its a real problem to me and i cant really talk about it to anyone. i'm a girl, 18, and i'm a virgin (have "tried" to have sex twice but it hasn't worked i think i was too nervous idk) and i really don't know what to do about it. my bf left me because of it (he didnt give an explanation but it was pretty obvious) and right now i feel like sex is the only thing anyone could ever want me for and i cant even give them that so i just feel worthless.…
Anonymous
I’m 20 and have not had sex. It is up to the individual person as to when they want to experience sex for the first time. There is no rush, either. Just because it seems like all your friends have done it, people in your school have done it, 1) It doesn’t mean they’ve actually done it. Most people actually haven’t. And 2) It is nobody’s business when you have sex and with whom. Especially if you’re nervous, that’s perfectly okay. When you’re ready, you’ll know. If a boyfriend left you because of it, he doesn’t deserve you. Any guy who openly admits that that’s a condition in a relationship and any guy who doesn’t openly admit, if you don’t want to, you don’t have to, and they can walk out of the door then and there if they disagree. He’s not the right guy and that’s all he wants if he leaves over it.  You are so much more than the societal concept of sex. I’m sorry if the people around you don’t give you the attention and care you need. I can personally understand that. But it’s so important and is the greatest lesson when you’re young to remember that it doesn’t matter what other people think, it matters what you think of yourself. Love yourself enough to know that you’re a wonderful, beautiful person, and if nobody sees that but you, it’s their loss and your gain because you have a much higher caring for yourself than they do. You matter, I promise. And when you see that, other people will see it, too.…
I want to give support to my friends, especially the ones who have to go through a lot, like one who had a suicidal sister and the rest of her family became suicidal, but I don't know how. Like I just say that I'm there if they want to talk, but I don't know what to say or what to do sometimes. What can I do to give them what they need especially because they were there for me?…
Anonymous
If you can see that they’re having a rough day, go to where they live or invite them over, bring ice cream and movies, and hug them.…
I fell in love with my bestfriend. I led him on sort of for some guy that treated me so terribly. now I really want my bestfriend back & I wanna be with him in a relationship. but I don't think he really digs me anymore ya know? he said if I changed for him he would maybe consider.. but I don't know if that's the right thing to do? what do you think?…
Anonymous
Change how? Why does he want you to change? Many people often pine for the wrong people, making us realize the better choice we had right in front of us. It’s a hard mistake, and sometimes it does cost us, but it is a mistake. However, if the person who was there all along really loves you, they shouldn’t care. If the love’s there, there should be forgiveness (in my opinion), and the feelings of that person should not be conditional. Read More…
Why did my best friend suddenly stop talking to me after seeing a girl? He lied about it too and denies that it's his gf. I always see her posting status up and calling him her bf. he still occasionally txt saying he misses me. I don't get it, please explain what's happening :(…
Anonymous
It’s hard for me to tell you exactly, because 1) I don’t know him personally and 2) I don’t know what was behind his actions any more than you do. But what I would say to you is that it’s possible that this girl could’ve told him to keep it from you, for whatever reason. Maybe she knows you guys are close friends and feels threatened?  Still, I think it’s strange (and wrong) that he would outright lie to you about it, if you’re his best friend. He may have a reason like I just said, but still, the way he’s acting isn’t very respectful to you.  I would confront him about it, otherwise you’ll always be wondering. Just ask him what’s going on; why he’s lying to you and why your communication’s been off. …
(im a girl) and ive been really close friends with this gay guy for ages. our conversations are always really jokey, and people always think it's flirting, but because he was gay, it was obviously just funny talk, but yesterday he told me he is bi, and im not sure how to behave now. also, im not sure if he's flirting with me, or if its just me over-thinking things. at the moment, im still acting the same, but im not sure if thats the right thing to do..…
Anonymous
If you feel like it’s making an impact on you, I don’t see how just talking about it will make it worse, sometimes it’s just needed, even if it’s a little awkward. And girls do tend to overthink/analyze in terms of how the guy is acting or how he feels, when it’s actually pretty simple.  I would say that if he’s acting the same as he always has, before you knew that he was bi, and he hasn’t made any signs that he might have feelings for you, I think you’re just overthinking it. But there’s nothing wrong with just having the discussion to clear things up for you. …
i have this bestfriend, we've been close for a while and we talk all the time and tell eachother everything, they'll talk to me for about a week then stop, then start again and just mess with my mind, should i just stop being as close with them or what?…
Anonymous
They do sound a bit flaky. In these situations I like to step back and see if ignoring them for a while gets their attention. It’s a way to see how much they care, I suppose. If they don’t talk to you or try to get in contact with you, I think it shows what the friendship is worth to them, which is not very much. In that case, I think you’re capable of finding better friends. Life’s too short to deal with people who can’t show how they feel or stay constant in their effort to maintain a relationship.…
I have a friend who killed himself about a month ago. To say he was a genius would have been an insult to his intelligence. He was far brighter. To compare him to Van Gogh or Da Vinci would have been an insult. He was far more creative. I aspired to be more like him. Every day. And he's gone. And I can't stop thinking about him. And to be honest, i'm seriously considering making a permanent visit to him. Because wherever he is must be far more beautiful than here. Likely why he left.…
Anonymous
I’m very sorry for your loss, first of all. It’s wonderful that someone can inspire you so much, and I think that’s what you should use to keep going. Keep going for him, to live out a life that both of you would be proud of. Maybe losing him will lead you to where you’re supposed to be or do what you’re supposed to do. As you say, the world can be a very non-beautiful place. But it’s all in our perspective and what we do with the choices and opportunities we’re given. Make the world a more beautiful place, one that he would approve of, in whatever way you see fit. Read More…
About a month ago, my best friend officially got a boyfriend (we're in grade 12). Now all she does is hang out with him and she is so consumed with him that she has no time for me, or time to listen to anything I have to say. She is also bringing him to our graduation ceremony, banquet, AND afterparty, and to be honest I'm not looking forward to being the third wheel at my own grad. I'm starting to feel like I need to get a boyfriend for grad just so I dont feel left out. I dont know what to do!…
Anonymous
Being the third wheel sucks; I’ve been there. Especially in high school, first loves are all over the place and a lot of people feel left out when it doesn’t happen to them. I wouldn’t be too down on her, because love makes us do crazy things, especially so young; our attention is kind of shot. But have you tried talking to her? Obviously, you don’t want to come between them, but you do have the right to tell her that you’d like more attention from her than you’ve been getting. Even though it might be a bit uncomfortable at each of the senior year activities and graduation, I wouldn’t say running out and trying to find someone is the best solution—you might just make it more awkward for yourself, and that’s not something you want at graduation. My advice for that would be to focus on the fact that you’re graduating high school! Believe me, it’s a night you’ll never forget, even if some things aren’t the way you exactly want them. Your future’s ahead of you, like college, where you’ll meet tons of people and finally begin to find yourself. Even if you’re stuck as the third wheel, she’s still your best friend, and even if she’s got googly eyes for some guy, don’t let it get you down on one of the greatest nights of your young life. …
My friend and I think we are in love, only he lives 3 hours away. It is possible that true love will bring us back together one day? After school finishes? We see each other on occasion, a few times a year. Our feelings for each other dont seem to disappear. We still date others, but we both tell each other its not the same. I do love him. And im willing to wait till we finish school - i really hope we last, so that one day we can be together, but is it possible?…
Anonymous
Anything is possible, especially when it comes to love, I think. Now, I do think it’s always nice, acceptable, and appropriate to keep your heart open for meeting new people (not just for romantic relationships, but any kind), because you never know who will step in and turn it upside down. It’s up to both of you if you want to say, we’re open to dating other people even though you’d like to be with each other, or that you want to wait for each other. Waiting will be very difficult, I think, because of distance and whatnot, but LDRs occur every day and if not more so these days, but they are very hard work, and for young people in school, it’s my opinion that it’s bit like tying yourself down when you’re supposed to be out and having fun, meeting new people and finding out what you like. But as I said, it’s entirely up to you and him.  Read More…
I didn't post that earlier about it being too late, but I don't want to be here anymore. I disagree with you. Their wont be any repercussions for my disappearance, my family&friends will forget. Iv thought it through to realize they will be ok and it is better this way. I dont tell anyone is because I dont want anyone to try and stop me. A chronic disease that doesnt kill me, so I have to myself.…
Anonymous
That’s a very sad way of thinking about it. I have on question though, if you feel that way, and you don’t want to be helped at all, and you’re absolutely serious about killing yourself; why hasn’t it happened yet? Why did you come to us here at Esteen? Read More…
My bestfriend gets bullied at her school. I don't know how to ask her how her day was because we go to 2 different schools. One time someone put a note in her locker "just do us all a favor and leave already" and stole all of her gym clothes she is now moving to a different school (easthampton).…
Anonymous
Now that your friend is moved out of her bad situation, what you can do as a best friend is very simple.  You can make sure you are always there for her, even if you don’t know how to ask how her day went.  Sometimes all we need is a friend to be with us, even just in spirit, and that is enough to give us the strength to go on.  Be sure your friend knows that she has someone by her side, because bullying can lead to feelings of intense isolation and loneliness.  Not being right there for her in person can be hard, but even just an “I’m thinking about you!” text can dramatically change the outcome of her whole day. Read More…
There is no one right now. No one cares that I’m about to die. So it’s time. Everyone will care later but it will be to late…. Bye….…
Anonymous
I hope that I’m not too late. You see, you’re wrong. You’re just plain wrong. Of course people will care! You’re a human being, and therefore you’re part of the human community. I know from my own adventures with suicide that people just don’t notice. If you’re suicidal, you have to tell them. Then people care. Read More…
I met this guy on the Internet in august i was going through a lot and he was there to talk to me but when school started he was a different person I mean i understand because i didnt really know him but the thing is he says that he likes me but he keep ignoring me when i text him, say mean things He's older than me but sometimes he acts like a 12 year old I don't know what to do.We fight sometimes and i keep coming back to him and he knows that i'll keep coming back . I'm lost…
Anonymous
The internet is a very strange and wonderful thing.  The sad part is, while there are many awesome and incredible people, there are also a handful of bad apples online too.  If someone treats you badly, you have to power to walk away from him.  You don’t have to keep a friendship if it turns abusive because you deserve better than this.  Like you said, because it is the internet, there could be a lot you don’t know about this guy.  A lot of personal relationships and friendships can be found here on the internet, but some of them don’t work out and aren’t good for you.  This may be one of those friendships.  You can walk away. Read More…
I'm currently trying to talk my friend off the ledge from committing suicide. HELP! What do I do?!?!?!?!?…
Anonymous
Call for help. 911 is the emergency number in USA.  Call them and alert them to the crisis.  Whatever you do, do not get off the phone with your friend.  Keep talking to them and make sure they keep talking.  Tell them about their reasons to live, and if they don’t want to listen, then make them talk.  Sometimes they just need people to listen to them.…
My best friend has recently confessed having a crush on me... and the thing is I feel the same way. But I am not sure what to say. I really don't know where to lead this.…
Anonymous
Let your heart lead the way, as cheesy as that sounds, why not explore your feelings for each other? If you take things slowly and base your relationship off your friendship then little can go wrong. The best relationships have a friendship to full back onto when all else fails.  Read More…