Esteen.org is an advice dedicated Tumblelog run by ‘experts’ who have experience and can provide the advice you need - just ask.Tumblr (3.0; @esteen)http://esteen.org/<p>Unfortunately 15 is not too young to get breast cancer, however unless you have any symptoms (a lump or more on your breasts) you have no reason to worry. If you do have a lump on or near your breasts then talk to your doctor, school nurse or parent about being screened for it. </p>http://esteen.org/post/50638019249http://esteen.org/post/50638019249Fri, 17 May 2013 02:37:00 -0400HealthBreast Cancer<p>In response to: <a href="http://esteen.org/post/49828960123">post/49828960123</a></p>http://esteen.org/post/49829218819http://esteen.org/post/49829218819Mon, 06 May 2013 23:15:36 -0400<p>I’m 20 and have not had sex. It is up to the individual person as to when they want to experience sex for the first time. There is no rush, either. Just because it seems like all your friends have done it, people in your school have done it, 1) It doesn’t mean they’ve actually done it. Most people actually haven’t. And 2) It is nobody’s business when <em>you </em>have sex and with whom. Especially if you’re nervous, that’s perfectly okay. When you’re ready, you’ll know.</p> <p>If a boyfriend left you because of it, he doesn’t deserve you. Any guy who openly admits that that’s a condition in a relationship and any guy who doesn’t openly admit, if you don’t want to, you don’t have to, and they can walk out of the door then and there if they disagree. He’s not the right guy and that’s all he wants if he leaves over it. </p> <p>You are so much more than the societal concept of sex. I’m sorry if the people around you don’t give you the attention and care you need. I can personally understand that. But it’s so important and is the greatest lesson when you’re young to remember that it doesn’t matter what other people think, it matters what you think of yourself. Love yourself enough to know that you’re a wonderful, beautiful person, and if nobody sees that but you, it’s their loss and your gain because you have a much higher caring for yourself than they do.</p> <p>You matter, I promise. And when you see that, other people will see it, too.</p>http://esteen.org/post/49828960123http://esteen.org/post/49828960123Mon, 06 May 2013 23:12:00 -0400sex and sexualityfriendsself-esteemrelationships<p>It is a matter of hormons. When we cut, we set a switch on in our brains that makes us feel excited and distressed, and we want to keep on having that feeling. It is really difficult to get it from other means, you should try to go to theraphy. You have an addicition, and you should get treatment before it is too late.</p>http://esteen.org/post/49551917255http://esteen.org/post/49551917255Fri, 03 May 2013 20:40:10 -0400<p>Knowing that you’ve taken those test, you should go to a physcologist. It is really difficult to stop, but not impossible. It is a matter of will, and if you have the will, I bet you’ll find a way to quit it, or control it. Think of every good thing you have in your life, and things will get easier. :) But please consider attending a physicologist. </p>http://esteen.org/post/49551788028http://esteen.org/post/49551788028Fri, 03 May 2013 20:38:19 -0400<p>Most of it might not be usable for real life situations, despite that fact you shouldn’t waste your time in the limbo, and try to take some advantage of it. You never know when you could use it. </p>http://esteen.org/post/49551628852http://esteen.org/post/49551628852Fri, 03 May 2013 20:36:02 -0400<p>Dump his butt. </p> <p>I’m sorry you’ve been hurt in this way, I feel for you and I give you a cyber hug. Accept you’ve been hurt but try to move on, forget him. He’s a jerk who wouldn’t know love if it bit him on the nose. Guys like this will only hurt girls, and you deserve so much more.</p>http://esteen.org/post/46051208510http://esteen.org/post/46051208510Sat, 23 Mar 2013 01:08:00 -0400relationships<p>If you can see that they’re having a rough day, go to where they live or invite them over, bring ice cream and movies, and hug them.</p>http://esteen.org/post/46050574743http://esteen.org/post/46050574743Sat, 23 Mar 2013 00:57:00 -0400friends<p>In response to this <a href="http://esteen.org/post/46049657196">question</a>.</p>http://esteen.org/post/46050476188http://esteen.org/post/46050476188Sat, 23 Mar 2013 00:56:12 -0400<p>Since you only dated for 2 months, you may not be that close with his family or friends, but even if you aren’t, if you can I would suggest to reach out to them and tell them what he’s said or thought. If you go to the same school, you could tell a counselor and they might be able to contact his family.</p> <p>Anybody, especially an adult, that’s connected to him, if you can contact them, I would say that would be a first step. </p>http://esteen.org/post/46049657196http://esteen.org/post/46049657196Sat, 23 Mar 2013 00:43:00 -0400healthrelationships<p>She might not be happy in the relationship anymore, which would give you a need to have a talk with each other, maybe discuss where each of your feelings are at. Sometimes I think it’s necessary, especially when a rough patch occurs, to actually sit down and talk about what page each person’s on. It saves time for each if it’s something that’s run its course.</p> <p>That may not be the case at all, of course, but I think honest, deep conversations are the best for this type of problem in relationships.</p>http://esteen.org/post/46049393949http://esteen.org/post/46049393949Sat, 23 Mar 2013 00:39:00 -0400relationships<p>It definitely sounds like he likes you. The “who should make the first move” is always tricky, in my opinion. I don’t believe that it <em>has</em> to be the guy, but for me, it’s always nice because it’s a way to really know they want you. But some guys are shy, so I wouldn’t give you that advice. </p> <p>I would say you could suggest for you guys to get coffee or lunch sometime, something simple. Or just give him your number if you haven’t already. That’s always a small thing for a girl to do that allows the guy to make the “real” move by calling and making the first date.</p>http://esteen.org/post/46049174264http://esteen.org/post/46049174264Sat, 23 Mar 2013 00:35:00 -0400relationships<p>Just have an honest conversation with him. More often than not we overcomplicate and overthink situations like this, mostly because it’s a discussion we don’t want to have, but alas it must happen. </p> <p>Just tell him the truth, that’s all you can do. You owe that to each other.</p>http://esteen.org/post/46048866114http://esteen.org/post/46048866114Sat, 23 Mar 2013 00:31:00 -0400relationships<p>Even though it’s something you won’t want to hear, the best thing is to realize that if they wanted you, they would already have you. Don’t settle for less than you deserve, and believe that anybody who doesn’t want you the first time they see you, you don’t want them. Stay positive and wait for the right one.</p> <p>I’m sorry for the clichés, but there’s a lot of truth to them, I promise.</p>http://esteen.org/post/46048743258http://esteen.org/post/46048743258Sat, 23 Mar 2013 00:29:00 -0400relationships<p>Before you give up on him, you should at least try writing him. Yes, it’s possible he has moved on, but you don’t know that for sure and not finding out from him will leave you without closure that you need to move on yourself. If he was truly a good guy then he would understand what happened and if he held something against you, he’ll be able to put it behind him. <span>The things he said are most likely things said in the heat of the break up and don’t reflect his true feelings or intentions, just his anger and upset. </span></p>http://esteen.org/post/45106390715http://esteen.org/post/45106390715Mon, 11 Mar 2013 08:46:00 -0400Relationships<p>It’s not unusual to feel down at your age, being a teen is not always easy - it’s a time of change, both mentally and physically, it’s also a time for transition into independent-adulthood and while that may be exciting to some, it can be scary and even depressing to others. These may not be the cause of your depression but could factor into it.</p> <p><!-- more --></p> <p>Sometimes it’s best to talk to people - friends, family, teachers, counselors, anybody. If you think your depression may be very serious - signs of this may include self harm or even suicidal thoughts - counseling would be the best move. You’ll find your school will offer a counselor and if they don’t, the school will have resources off campus that will assist you.</p> <p>If you’re uncomfortable with opening up to someone, make an effort to take your mind off any negative thoughts. Try spending [more] time with friends or family. You could try throwing yourself into school work, as boring as that may sound - it’ll be sure to open doors when it comes to your post-school plans. If socializing and schoolwork aren’t your thing, explore a hobby like writing, drawing, painting, a sport, hiking or even gaming.</p> <p>You must know - you’re not a failure and you’re certainly not worthless. Your sleeping problem may not be directly related to being depressed but not being able to sleep will have some connection to the depression. You could try some sleep remedies as this will improve your focus in school as well as the obvious impact it’ll have on your sleep. If all else fails, try visiting your family doctor - who could help you find a solution to your sleep issues whether it be by a change in lifestyle or prescription sleeping pills.</p> <p>Depression is not easy to overcome and everyone’s different which means there is no sure way to cure depression, it takes work. However depression can be suppressed and while it’s suppressed - it’s not growing. The less you think about what makes you depressed the happier you’ll be - however this also works in reverse. Talking and sharing the thing that is depressing you with someone else helps you ‘let it out’, plus having a confidant is a safety net - should you go too far.</p> <p>Remember you’re not alone, many people feel beaten up by life at this stage and you’ll have some tough decisions to make concerning your future. To ease these transitions and increased responsibilities - you must find a balance between work and play because if you don’t, you’ll end up failing in school or being depressed.</p>http://esteen.org/post/45105330432http://esteen.org/post/45105330432Mon, 11 Mar 2013 08:10:00 -0400Self-esteemGrowing-up<p>When Tumblr updated the ask-box design, Esteen&#8217;s site didn&#8217;t accommodate the new dimensions of the box. However that has been addressed and you can once again ask questions.</p> <p>On that subject, <a href="http://www.andrewandjack.com/team/join/?blog=esteen.org">interested in joining the team</a>?</p>http://esteen.org/post/45104603978http://esteen.org/post/45104603978Mon, 11 Mar 2013 07:44:00 -0400Featured<p>Change how? Why does he want you to change?</p> <p>Many people often pine for the wrong people, making us realize the better choice we had right in front of us. It’s a hard mistake, and sometimes it does cost us, but it is a mistake. However, if the person who was there all along really loves you, they shouldn’t care. If the love’s there, there should be forgiveness (in my opinion), and the feelings of that person should not be conditional.</p> <p><!-- more --></p> <p>What bothers me is that of all things to ask you to do—change for him? I’m sure we’ve all heard it, but it’s true: Never change for anybody. You should be perfect just the way you are. </p> <p>So, I think you should let him go. The fact that he wants you to change in whatever way for him to just “consider” it, just isn’t right. You deserve so much better. </p>http://esteen.org/post/44847967521http://esteen.org/post/44847967521Fri, 08 Mar 2013 02:32:00 -0500relationshipsfriends<p>It’s hard for me to tell you exactly, because 1) I don’t know him personally and 2) I don’t know what was behind his actions any more than you do.</p> <p>But what I would say to you is that it’s possible that this girl could’ve told him to keep it from you, for whatever reason. Maybe she knows you guys are close friends and feels threatened? <br/>Still, I think it’s strange (and wrong) that he would outright lie to you about it, if you’re his best friend. He may have a reason like I just said, but still, the way he’s acting isn’t very respectful to you. </p> <p>I would confront him about it, otherwise you’ll always be wondering. Just ask him what’s going on; why he’s lying to you and why your communication’s been off. </p>http://esteen.org/post/44847522375http://esteen.org/post/44847522375Fri, 08 Mar 2013 02:19:00 -0500friendsrelationships<p>(Cont’d) <em><span>and idk how to react. it makes me so nervous and uncomfortable… do you know what i should do?</span></em></p> <p>That does sound a little weird, but based on what you said about how he acts, for whatever reason I think he isn’t interested or not interested enough. If he’s fine with other girls and can’t even look you in the eye, he could be nervous, I suppose, but even if that were the case I think you would see other signs from him that he likes that you’re talking to him, like a small smile. So, to be honest, I think something’s off with him and you should try to move on from this particular crush. Don’t wait around for someone who can’t even look you in the eye when you talk to them—and someone who doesn’t have the guts to come up to you.</p> <p>And while it’s true that some guys do get nervous like girls, most guys will not only talk to you if they’re interested, but they’ll be the one to start the conversation as well. </p>http://esteen.org/post/44847199654http://esteen.org/post/44847199654Fri, 08 Mar 2013 02:10:00 -0500relationships