In response to the anon who smokes weed at 15, I currently smoke daily as medication. It helps with my bulimia, borderline, and anxiety disorders. I don't know if you are recreational, but if you are I do suggest you stay that way. There's a lot of people around me who are dependent on it, and it's not a way to live. But listen to your body. You will listen and know.
To that last ask about smoking weed at 15. I don't think it's weird, but I do think it's damaging. I started smoking weed everyday at 14/15 and I really really think that is why I now have a personality disorder. The brain is still developing at that age and your personality is still forming. I'm currently trying to kick a 6 year habbit, so that's why I felt the need to comment. If you can stop now - do it, learn how to cope in other ways, good luck whatever you decide
Alright, so I'm 15 and I smoke a lot of weed. I'm afraid to tell my friends though, so I always do it alone. Is that weird?I do it and then go out with my friends. Is it bad that i'm not telling them?
Recent studies have shown that while marijuana use is not significantly harmful to adults, it may have adverse affects on the brains of adolescent individuals. Therefore it is important to recognize when your marijuana consumption may move from an occasional recreational activity, to a daily dependence. Like alcohol, marijuana is best consumed when it is done in moderation.
My ex broke up with me 5 months ago, and when I go out and I see couples showing any sort of affection like holding hands, kissing,etc I get very jealous and bitter. I never felt these emotions right after the breakup, I was okay with seeing couples, even more happy for them. But right now, it seems to bother me. He ended it by ignoring me and at last he sent me a message cussing me when I asked for closure. Is it normal to feel this way? How can I get over it? I feel like a really bad person :(
You’re not a bad person, what you’re feeling is normal, it’s just taken the breakup time to set in. When you see couples, you’re reminded of what you had with your ex.
What do I do if a guy is peer pressuring me to show my private parts(vagina) to him? & I don't want to but I'm Inlove with him and were texting, never met eachother before
Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. If he has a problem with that then you need to reevaluate your relationship. If he loves you and has your best interests at heart, he should wait until you’re comfortable to take those steps, if you wish to take them at all.
I have a boyfriend and we don't have much to talk about bc we're so different. I think I'll end up breaking up with him soon but also another reason maybe because I like my best friend. He's so great and always describes the perfect girl for him and I have literally every quality. But he's still heartbroken over a breakup that happened a year ago. He's still in love with his ex. I'm his best friend and he's mine but I think I want to be more but I don't know what to do. Advice would help a lot.
Whether or not it might work out with your best friend, I think it’s important to figure out your present relationship. If you feel you’re too different and don’t have enough to keep going, you should consider ending it.
Me and my girlfriend broke up mutually, we still liked each other and decided to remain friends, this was tough for me but i tried my best to make it work, the problem is that the last time we hung out it was with her bestfriend and i basically was thirdwheeling, she understood what she was doing was hurting me, but she said that she doesn't know how to act around me because she only knows how to act as girlfriend with me.. i feel like this is gonna hurt me a lot if its like this, what do i do?
If it’s awkward and/or uncomfortable for the both of you, I suggest you think about going your separate ways altogether. While it’s sad to be so clear-cut after a relationship ends, most of the time that’s the way it goes. It’s very rare that a friendship can remain afterwards.
ok So I've been officially dating this guy for about 7 months, but we've been talking for around 11 months. These past 3 months I have not seen him let alone talk to him. He says he is busy because he has a job now. but he just works at burger king and not even full time. When he is off he is always with his 'Friend' corey. I recently broke up with him and I wanted to know if I should've given him more chances or if I did what should've been done.
I believe you did the right thing. There’s no sense in waiting around for someone who’s not fully there or who doesn’t care if he isn’t there. And I think if a guy wants to be with you, he’ll make it happen. You won’t have to chase him.
I've became close friends w/ this guy that I'm with everyday for the past month. Hes always teasing me but I do it to were good friends but recently I've been have feelings for him & idk what to do cause idk if he feels the same way. I want him
One of you needs to make a move, he’s probably in the same position as you - wants you but is unsure of how you feel. I recommend you make the first move, you don’t have much to lose.
I started seeing this guy in about november. He was the most amazing thing thats ever happened to me; and still is. He always told me he wasn't ready for a relationship, but continued to hookup with me and be intimate with me. Since then, he has been in and out of 2 relationships and is in a new one now. He still uses me for hooking up, and i like him so much... What should i do?
You need to tell him that you don’t want to be a rebound or a bit on the side. You can still spend time with him and be friends but just don’t let him do stuff he should be doing with his girlfriend with you. He is getting everything from you he should get in a relationship without the commitment.
im 14 yrs old and this guy im talking to is 16, weve known eachother for about 2 years now, and about a year ago i moved to the opposite end of the world, even though it wasnt often we kept in touch. i recently came back to visit friends and we started seeing each other, things have escalated and we are thinking about having sex. i promised myself i would need to be at least 15, but he seems like the right guy and i dont when ill be back to see him again. please help
If what the two of you share is strong and set to withstand time and distance then waiting until you are old enough is wise. Either way you look at it, you must be aware that you are too young if not maturely, at least legally.
So there is a guy I recently just met and he gave me his number. He's about to be 22 and I am 17, and I really like him. He lives in Florida and I live in Colorado, but he is great. We Skype any chance we get. The thing is, I just found out his father was famous, and they are too. (His father has passed) What should I do!?
Just because he is famous, shouldn’t be a deterrent to pursue something with him, should you want to. Your biggest challenge is the distance but if you both have a connection then there is nothing wrong with giving it a try. However, be careful as to not let his status be a contributing factor in your interest in him.
I'm 17 and going to be a senior in highschool, and I think I have feelings for one of my brother's (who is going to be a sophomore) friends, but the guy is actually a year younger so he's 14. Is he too young? Is there something wrong with me? I know people in my grade who've dated people from his grade but not his age. I'm just really confused.
Too young? At this stage, yes. Is there something wrong with you? No, not entirely. There’d be something wrong if you were attracted to people of that age specifically, but if you’re interested in one person who happens to be that age, then no.
Me and my girlfriend had a mutual break up, we decided to remain as friends, but the i told her it wasn't working out for me because i still liked her, i haven't talked to her in about a month, and i really want to try things out with her again, i wanna her to talk to her in person but im not gonna see her for at least another month, should i wait till I see her, or should i call her? I'm scared a lot can happen in the time i spend not talking to her...
What do you have to lose by calling her? I think you should do what your heart tells you to do. In a month, not much can happen so don’t be too worried, but in saying that - chances are that talking now makes no difference than talking later.
My best friends (who are dating each other) are going through fights and arguments. I REALLY love them both, but they can get really annoying; they put me in the middle of their shenanigans. I've been really frustrated about it, but I don't want to hurt their feelings. How can I tell them nicely that I don't want anything to do with their problems? (They kinda have been pretty immature about them too)
Well it seems the easiest way would be to just say “leave me out of this”. In doing so - you’re not being nasty or anything alike, afterall it is essentially their fight. They should understand and respect your request, if they don’t then you’re right about them being immature. Good friends respect each other and they need to respect that they’re both important to you.
my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me a few days ago because of arguing. It wasn't a lot of arguing, but it was arguing caused by me and they were all the same arguments dealing with me being jealous. I blame myself for this. He wants to be friends and see if my attitude changes but I'm scared that within this time of the break that his feelings won't be the same for me anymore and won't want to be with me. I'm miserable and I feel hopeless
You’re best to settle with friends for now, instead of concerning over how he feels, focus on proving you’re the person for him.
The love of my life has dumped me. There's nothing but pain & I cry all day every day. Apparently I didn't care or do enough when all I ever did when we were together was to love, cherish and do everything to make her feel happy. We were long distance so I'd send her surprises etc. I'm so hurt that she only thinks I thought of myself when in my mind it was far from the case but as we've been speaking now I feel if I brought up what I thought she'd never talk to me again. What do I do?
As hard as it is to hear, you’re best to bring it up. It’s something that may always bother you so long as she’s in your life. You need to make a decision as to what is more important to you - finding closure or living with something on your chest for however longer you talk.
Ive been with this guy for nearly two years. We have sex but we have do not have any type common ground. It was an arranged relationship. I try to care for him, but he doesnt have the same sense of responsibility i have. Basically we're two different people. I need to get out of this relationship but idk when to bring it up. What should i do?
Your best move in this situation is to make it about him or both of you. I suggest you ask him what he wants with you, something along the lines of “do you want to be in a relationship with me?”
Lately i can't help myself, i'm just feeling sad all the time, you know. Being stuck in my room listening to music, watching the rain, talking to myself and crying, is pretty lame, i've never been like this, it's like my mind is telling me something but my soul is saying another. Whe'n i'm around people i'm just okay but when i'm alone this feelings start to crush me, i don't know how to handle it, in the past few days the only thing i do is watch sad stuff, think about life and cry.
You might just be lonely, I base this on how you suggest your mood changes around others, assuming this is the case, let’s dive in.
last 3 weeks a guy started to talk to me, he was interested to know me, because I have a different style, and well basically now he says e likes me ..but i don t just have a different style i have a different mind, a see myself in a very negative way i can t imagine someone really liking me, i just thought he was using me or something, the thing is that now he isn´t talking with me, I think he is upset because i think that he is just using me.. i don t know.. am i too different for everyone?
Everyone is different, the more different the better and you shouldn’t change yourself to please someone. That aside, you shouldn’t suspect he is using you just because he, unlike others, is showing an interest in you.
Hi i wanted to ask is there something wrong with me? I masturbate a lot idk if its normal i do it even more than 5 times a day i dont know why but i just like the feeling i wanted to know if it would affect me in the future or if there is something wrong with me now.
Hi Esteen, So basically i've had a crush on this guy for the longest time. We kissed once a few months ago and we talk a lot. We stopped flirting a while ago and he told me he didn't like me. But over the course of the summer he's been drunk calling telling me he loves me he's also called me high a few times. Last week, he called and asked me for sex. I didn't give it to him, but partially because i've been sleeping with his best friend. What should I do?
It seems he’s only interested in you when he’s under the influence of something which calls his judgement into question. If you’re happy with the guy you’re with, why spoil it? You’re doing the right thing by not giving way to his drunken booty calls. What he is doing is rude, he’s a jerk and you’re above that.
Hi esteen. I have been having some panic attacks lately. I can feel them coming on, like my hands will get all tingly, and I get cold and light headed. Do you have an tips for me how to prevent them from happening? They're terrifying, and its 8:40 am and I haven't slept. I just want to sleep!! Thanks so much esteen <3
The best advice we can give you is to seek professional help - a doctor or a school nurse would be a good place to start. They will be able to help you and it may require medication.
My boyfriend was put in jdc (juvenile detention center) on June 18th. He comes out July 18. Next week Thursday and I'm so excited and I can't wait to see him. What are some things that I should do, and some things we should do together ? 😯 Should I sleep over his house ? If I do it's gonna be the first time
I don’t know the full story and I’m not going to make any conclusions. But whatever he was serving time for and considering he was away for a month - I think you should keep it cool and not go running at him beaver first.
I miss talking and DnMing with my best friend, but for the past few months we just stopped talking. Which is really odd because we use to talk everyday. He also has a gf now. What should i do?
There may not be a lot you can do. Don’t assume your friendship is ending or has ended, it likely isn’t, but when a girl comes into the picture, things change. You could make plans to hang out. I suggest you just give him time and when he needs you, be there.
It's the summer (duh), and I haven't hung out with anyone. I've tried to make plans, but they've never really formed into anything. I feel like I'm always the one reaching out to people and trying to hang out, and it hurts. I hate seeing all of my friends going out and having fun and posting pictures online without me. I just feel unloved.
Sadly, life is like that sometimes. But don’t read into it until they actually tell you they don’t want to hang out with you. If every attempt to hang out with them doesn’t come to fruition then you could go out and meet others, as daunting as that seems.
I have had a crush on the same guy for a little over a year and I still do. We always talk and I have caught him staring at me multiple times and his body language is always positive. I want to tell him I like him, because I don't want to regret not taking a risk. But I have been told that if he wanted me, he would have done something by now. I'm so confused on what to do! If I do ask him out, what is the best way?
He may have received the same information about you - you would have asked him about by now. You have little to lose in asking “would you like to go on a date?”, but if you rather be safe about it, just ask to hang out. Anything like going to a movie or doing homework together is a good place to start, but all the while - flirt and make sure he’s aware that this is a date. The worst that could happen is he says “no”.
Hi esteen, so a couple months ago this guy kissed me that I`d really always had a crush on, he asked me out but we had a really biig fight and ever since then things have been so awkward. I know he`s a jerk and a player but no matter what I do I can`t seem to forget about him. Other guys have asked me out but I don`t have any feelings for them because i`m still hung up on him. How can I just move on already?? xx
Moving on isn’t easy, but keeping yourself busy speeds the process up. You may not be interested in any of the guys who have approached you but going out with them doesn’t mean you have to become their girlfriend (or boyfriend). Hanging out with any one of these guys will allow you to get to know them better but above all else, keep you busy and your mind off the player.
Hey um i was wondering if i could get some advice, theres this guy and I've only met him twice, he's like super hot, never talked to him on facebook before but i really wanna talk to him just to say hi and stuff but I'm scared you probably think I'm silly but i am really really scared coz he's like super amazing haha
No one thinks you’re weird for that, everyone gets intimidated by the though of talking to a stranger they find attractive. You need to just do it and do it fast like ripping off a bandaid.
so my friend and i always do sexual stuff and the other day he was fingering me and i was making noise and i said oh my god and he just started laughing and he always pays me out about it, and i try to be quiet when he touches me but i just can't contain myself, i don't know what to do
There is nothing wrong with being vocal, it is quite natural, in fact there are people that would rather have a vocal partner than a silent one - it’s a reassurance to them that they’re pleasing their partner.
hey esteen i have a problem.. I really liked this girl right and well shes really hot and im just average i guess.. (p.s im a guy lol) when i told her i liked her she told me she didnt feel the same way and well I still like her and its been a few months and we barely speak what should i do? ( im 16 years old)
As hard as it is to hear - it’s probably best you moved on. There is no sure way to just stop being interested in someone, but in time feelings change. You need to do things that take your mind off of her, whether it is throwing yourself into school or work, or spending more time with friends.
is it normal to have sexual thoughts not with anyone just in general when you are 15? Or start to have those feelings once you start puberty?
Absolutely! If it were any more normal it’d be… something… really normal…
At any age, it is normal to have thoughts - sexual in nature, as your understanding of sex grows the thoughts become more prevalent and mature. Even when you were prepubescent, you’d have thought about sex, albeit more innocently. It is what brings about that curiosity.
Just because you think about it doesn’t mean you need to act upon it and sexual thoughts don’t necessarily focus on a particular person. It’s common for the mind to invent people simply for the sexual thoughts to play out upon.
I was in a long distance relationship with a guy from canada (im from australia) and during this relationship i was so happy, and was so upset when it ended (due to the distance) I honestly feel as though we are meant to be together but I'm not sure if I should let it go, or try again. I would be willing to fly to canada for him and it just saddens me when I think about life without him
I’m sure you’re aware of the ins and outs of meeting people online. The best advice I can give you is - follow your heart and be careful in the process.
Before you jet off to Canada, however, maybe you should talk to him so you don’t find yourself alone in a foreign country. If he’s not interested in pursuing a physical relationship with you then it is best you don’t get carried away and put your energy into moving on. There’s plenty of hot guys in Australia.
I'm doing it in private, but I have a girlfriend and we have sex regularly. I just seem to have completely lost my refractory period. I don't really know what to do about it. I have plenty of hobbies and I'm always busy.
Well I don’t know, I still don’t think there’s necessarily anything wrong. If anything, it seems like a dream come true. So long as you’re not abusing this gift and it’s not causing you distress, spread your seed!
If this is really concerning you, talk to your doctor. But I don’t think you’re going to die.
Incest is completly wrong, it doesn't depend on what the person feels about it. I understand that she was 8 and didn't know, but her brother was 15 and raped her, no matter what she feels about it. Seriously kids nowadays are driving me crazy.. 10 year old kids talk about sex, smoking .. Being an adult is not about smoking and having sex. !
Our position on incest is that it is morally wrong, that is - on a scale of wrong, questionable and right - no room for areas of grey. Our position is stated in our answer, however the asker asked if incest was bad and that depends on a plethora of things. To name a few -
Unintended conception, STIs and/or STDs can all result from any state of sex, rape and other involuntary acts of sex add psychological damage to the mix. That’s not to say good can come from incest, but there is such a thing as voluntary incest and in some cultures it is acceptable, so incest - wrong? Morally, incest - bad? Depends.
Eight years old is too young for any type of sex, heck any age younger than 16 is too young. We agree that smoking and sex doesn’t make you an adult, we’d like to add drinking and doing drugs doesn’t either. It’s about maturity.
Incest is morally wrong, incest isn’t good. But it’s not bad. To paraphrase the original asker’s answer; only you know if it is bad, if it has negatively impacted you, then yes it is bad.
so i was seen this guy from September 2009 and just a year ago we ended shit cuz he wanted to and he never wanted to sort things out with me. so here i am years later i still love him and care for him i've tried to get over him but all i want is him in my life even if he's just a friend. i tried asking him to talk to him but he's been ignoring me since we ended and i don't even know what i did to him. what advice do you have for me?
You already know what to do, you need to talk to him but your problem is duly noted. What I suggest you do is email/private message (Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter) or even send a letter to him.
So what do you do if you want to date your best friend but don't want to loose them as a friend
Talk to them, be forthcoming about your feelings towards them or else they’ll eat away at you. Many relationships built on a friendship tend to be stronger than those that aren’t, you have a foundation made from a mutual trust, common interests and the security that you know and like each other without romance.
Having sex with your older brother is it bad? But you guys didn't know anything. Your brother just found out about sex and he wanted to try with someone and well i didn't know about it cuz what i was like 8 years old,but he was like 15 i think. do u think i'm still a virgin? cuz i really don't know :(((( i didn't mean to and i really really regreat that. please answer it asap
I apologize, for I don’t completely understand what you’re trying to ask. Incest is morally wrong, but whether it is bad, is your choice. More so, 15 is young to be sexually active, 8 is far too young to be sexually active.
I recently saw a horror movie and now i'm having trouble falling asleep, being alone, and even thinking. I was greatly affected by this film and it has changed who I am. My brain is scarred. I cannot get the movie out of my head. I'm having nightmares.
A horror movie’s purpose is to scare its viewers and it looks like it succeeded. It happens to the best of us, different horror genres scare different people, I, for example find myself afraid after watching movies about ghosts. But it’ll pass, after you watch different movies, TV, listen to music and go on with your life.
I need advice. I have always hated my body and I'm always bullied for being fat. Last year I stopped eating and my eating habits have been off ever since. I know I can't have anorexia because I actually am overweight. I have been going to the gym for months now and I don't feel any different since then. I have been trying to eat healthy but it makes me feel horrible and obese because I'm actually swallowing the food. Anytime i eat i will do anything to digest the food.I don't know what to do.
You should never hate your body, it’s beautiful like yourself. You’re not doing anything wrong by dieting and exercising but if you feel like you’re not achieving anything, you could try talking to a professional. There are a number of people who could help you including your school nurse, school counselor, gym teacher, coach, general practitioner, dietician and/or personal trainer.
My best friend who i've secretly had a crush on for a year is venting to me about how depressed he is about his ex-girlfriend and how alone he feels, I told him he can't let her ruin him and he needs to surround himself with people that love him, but I feel like he's still depressed, and I want him to know that I really do care about him, what should I do? Help!
I don’t see what is stopping you from telling him how you feel. Telling him may be what he needs to hear, he may not be ready for another relationship so soon but it’ll take his mind off his ex-girlfriend and when he’s ready he may be willing to commit again.
I do track. I worked so hard all season, and beat school record. I also had an undefeated season. Yesterday I was at a party. One girl was my age; she did track. I liked her. But her mom bragged on and on how her daughter was going to win scholarships for running,how she SOMETIMES wins, etc. Her time was twenty seconds slower than mine! I wanted to say something, but it would have been rude. So I kept silent and angry. I keep replaying the moment in my head, wishing I had piped up.
Most parents are proud of their children, how they show it may differ by parent, some will brag to others while others will reward their child and so on. I wouldn’t get yourself wound up about what her mother says, if you know you’re good then that is all that matters. Besides, it’s not as though you intend to spend time with her mother. Don’t let her mother’s actions determine your feelings for her.
I started dating my best friend. towards the end of the relationship he made me sad all the time & didnt treat me right. He was a bad boyfriend. he made me feel guilty for his mistakes, so I dumped him. I didnt tell him that he was a bad boyfriend, just that it didnt feel like a relationship anymore. He got mad & I immediately felt bad for doing what was right& apologized. I see him every day at school and we r in the same group of friends... (More)
[continued] I get sad when I see him yet I still want to see him. I know I should take time away from him but its not easy. I’ve tried talking to him about how I feel but he refuses to talk. I miss him especially as a best friend bc I have bad history with best friends. I know It’s mostly lust that I’m feeling. I’ve never been in love but he said he was in love with me. I just want to know what he is thinking or even if he misses me. I just feel so lost and no best friend to talk to about it.
Well it seems you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one hand - you need to give him and yourself time to heal, but it seems in order to heal you both need to talk about what happened. He owes you an explanation for the way he treated you and in turn he should know how it affected you.
Whats your opinion on a guy who says, "okay" and "there's not much I can do" after being broken up with?
Give him time, he’s still recovering. Don’t give up, but don’t push him into another commitment just yet, it doesn’t mean he isn’t interested. The best thing you could do is be his friend, offer to spend time with him in non-romantic setting, then after some time you can ask him out or who knows, maybe he’ll ask you out.